Friend of Schmooze's Movie to Premiere in Toronto

Elijah Wood stars in 'Everything is Illuminated' a film by Liev Schreiber. The movie will have it's North American premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival this September, 2005 in Toronto.

Some of you may or may not know a friend of mine who was in Toronto this past year working as the production designer on the new 50 Cent move 'Get Rich or Die Tryin'. The film is directed by Oscar nominated writer and director Jim Sheridan. It is with great pleasure that i found out this past week that another film that Mark worked on 'Everything is Illuminated' will be making its North American premiere at this year's Toronto International Film Festival.

Mark has worked on a number of diverse independent features for filmmakers including Jim Sheridan, Stephen Frears and Michael Winterbottom.
Geraghty first worked with Winterbottom on "Family," made for television. He then went on to work with him on the highly acclaimed feature "Welcome to Sarajevo."
Geraghty has collaborated on two films for Jim Sheridan, the first being the award-winning feature "In America," and the second most recent film "50 Cent," currently in pre-production in New York and Toronto.
His other film credits include "Rat," "When the Sky Falls," "The Debt Collection," "Tristan and Isolde," and "The Count of Monte Cristo" (both directed by Kevin Reynolds),"The Matchmaker," "Dancing at Lughnasa," and "The Van" for director Stephen Frears.
He began his career on the feature "My Left Foot" in 1989, on which he worked as Assistant Art Director.

Are you a Player?

Noble Subjects!
Apologies for the tardiness of my posts, but KOS has needed some time off to recuperate from the month of June. More on SchmoozaPalooza later, but yes, it was a success!!

Have you got game?
I wanted to quickly bring another fun and interesting event to your attention. A friend of mine has brought this event to my attention and I thought it was a cool idea so I promised to share it with my loyal subjects.

This Wednesday, July 13 you're invited to a 'Hot Night of Cool Games' to support the Canadian Red Cross.

You can look forward to not being 'bored' by playing such classic Hasbro 'board' games as "Sorry", "Scrabble", "Trivial Pursuit", and "Pictionary".

For video game buffs you can look forward to playing great "PS2" games like "NFL Madden 2005", "NHL 2005", and "ESPN NBA 2005".

For the more traditional "playa's" out there, you can cozy up to a table and play some Texas Hold'em Poker.

The event takes place this Wednesday, July 13 @ the Steam Whistle Brewery (255 Bremner Blvd. just across from "Roger's" Centre. Things get going @ 7:30 pm. Tickets are $25 in advance or $30 at the door, and include a drink and great food.

For more information visit www.yougotgameevent.com or call Priscilla @ 1.416.480.0195 ext. 2230 to reserve your ticket.

So, get a group of friends together and head down to play!

WATCH AND VOTE JUNE 14, 2005 @ 8 pm

MATT HUMPHREYS!
WATCH AND VOTE JUNE 14, 2005 @ 8 pm
CTV's Canadian Idol

Shameless Plug for A Friend: Part 2

Canadian Idol Top 32 Contestant - Matt Humphreys.
Watch and Vote June 14, 2005 @ 8 pm!!

Well fellow schmoozers, the time has come for your King to call in a favour. A good friend of mine has just passed through into the Top 32 Contestants for this year's Canadian Idol.

You may have seen me talk about Matt Humphreys here in the past to promote a show he was doing in Toronto. I probably invited you to come out and see Matt's show, which can sometimes prove to be a bit of a strectch do to busy schedules and other reasons. Well, this time I'm inviting you to check out Matt on national television, next Tuesday, June 14 @ 8 pm. You can see Matt perform from the comfort of your own homes!

It was very exciting to watch Idol last night and see that Matt made the cut to make the Top 32. I knew that Matt had auditioned for Idol, but didn't know how far he would make it. Needless to say, over the last couple of days your king has been watching Canadian Idol with everything including my wires crossed. And low and behold, wednesday night we found out he made the cut! It was so cool watching on Wed. June 8 when we saw him earn a spot in the next round of the competition.

Matt will be performing with 7 other competitors from Group 1 this coming Tues., June 14 on CTV @ 8 pm.

Watch and Vote, June 14th!! Please!!

You'll have an opportunity to vote for Matt for 2 hrs. following the show. So please do! He is very talented and deserves a shot at the Canadian Idol title this year. I've always told anyone who would listen that Matt Humphreys is a talented singer/songwriter/musician, and he's proven me right so far. To advance from the top 187 contestants to the top 32 in Canada says something for his abilities. Let's help him make the Top 10, and then #1!!

You can also support Matt by going to www.idol.ctv.ca and signing up to participate in the online forums. There is also a Yahoo Group that has been started at http://launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/matthumphreys/

Your king is a very benevolent king, and doesn't ask for favours as a rule. But in this case, i'm reaching out to as many of you as possible to help me support a good friend who has the talent, charisma, stage presence, and maturity to represent well!

Matt deserves this and I ask you to support him, by supporting me in this effort.

Please feel free to forward this to as many of your friends as you see fit.

I welcome your feedback @ kingofschmooze@sympatico.ca

Get Your Schmo-jo Goin'!!

The funny, talented and beautiful Nicole Arbour has been confirmed as the MC for 'SchmoozaPalooza'.

Get Your Schmo-jo Goin'!!!

A couple of more "peas" have joined the line-up "pod" of talent for SchmoozaPalooza. And they are most certainly "sweet peas"!

Funster Nicole Arbour will be MC'ing the event and Wise Cracker Laura Nikifortchuk will be yukking it up before the bands hit the stage.

In case you don't believe KOS, here's what Michael Landsburg of TSN's "Off the Record" has to say about Nicole: "A great guest, and an even better comedian!"

Gentlemen, these women are sharp as tacks and beautiful so leave the 'maxim' pick-up lines at home. Better start working on some new material now!

SchmoozaPalooza Talent Line-Up Confirmed.

Just in case you thought that the King of Schmooze would throw a boring festa, think again. The talent for the evening has been confirmed and it looks something like this:

9:00 pm - MC Nicole Arbour will humour, entertain and enchant you
9:20 pm - Laura Nikifortchuk will amuse
10:00 pm'ish - Greg Legros and 'The Motherlode" will get you ready to rock
11:15 pm'ish - Automan will rock you!!

Get ready to visit www.schmoozapalooza.ca next week as it is almost ready to go.

SchmoozaPalooza Update

Canadian Band - Automan - the "Official Coolness" will be headlining 'SchmoozaPalooza' @ Stones Place on Wed. June 29, 2004. (From left: John Fenton, Bass; Carleton Lockhart, Guitar; Kevin Gale, Guitar; Darrell DWaRf Millar, Lead Vocals; Adrian Cavan, Drums)

Here is some more exciting news about SchmoozaPalooza, Wed. June 29, 2005 @ Stones Place.

KOS was out to see Automan live at Stanley's on the Danforth this past Friday. Let me tell you, we are very fortunate that Darrell and the boys have been gracious enough to take time out of there busy tour schedule to play SchmoozaPalooza. They play original rock and roll influenced by AC/DC, Aerosmith, the Rolling Stones, and other great rock bands.

If any of you folks are going to be up north near Orillia this Friday, you can catch Darrell playing with the KiLLer DwaRfS @ Second Last Call.

Get your tickets fast!
Tickets for the inaugural SchmoozaPalooza are going fast. In fact, there are only 76 left that haven't been spoken for. Contact Graham Farkas @ 416.23.4TIME (8463) or by email
kingofschmooze@sympatico.ca to reserve your tickets:

$15.00/each or 2 for $25.00
- the event is being presented to help support Heather Humphries and her team who are raising
$12,000 to walk in the 'Weekend to End Breast Cancer' this Sept. 9-11, 2005.

Exciting News: Set aside Wed. June 29, 2005!

The King of Schmooze proudly presents: Schmoozapalooza

Yes folks! The time has finally come for the KOS and his court to come together in a night of fun, rock and roll, responsible imbibement of assorted beverages, and benevolence.

Make sure you set aside Wed. June 29, 2005 @ 7:30 pm for this wonderful event. More details will follow but here are some general details:

Who: Everyone and their dogs . ..... and the www.kingofschmooze.com
What: SchmoozaPalooza - the inaugural event (gee Darin, here you are again!)
Where: Stones Place - 1255 Queen St. W., Toronto
When: Wednesday, June 29, 2005 @ 7:30 pm (doors open); show starts @ 9' ish
Why: Because we can. Oh, and to raise money for the Weekend to End Breast Cancer

How: Tickets are $15/each, or 2 for $25. Limited number of tickets (only 175) so act fast. "No tickee, no get inee!"

For details on how to order tickets please call 416.23.4TIME (8463) or email KOS.

Political Ambitions

King of Schmooze with then Conservative candidate, now Liberal Minister of Human Resources Development, Belinda Stronach

To quote current Prime Minister Paul Martin, "Let me be perfectly clear ....... ", this is not an opinion relating to politics. This is an opinion about politics.

Being from royal stock, the King of Schmooze does not hold any political affiliations. However, I have friends & aquaintances that are Conservative, Liberal, conservative, liberal, Socialis ..... er maybe not them, and even a Commie Pinko ......... finally Darin ..... you're in The King's Edict!!

My point is, even though I can become very passionate about certain viewpoints (mostly common sense ones), KOS has risen above the political 'mucking about' that seems to turn the nicest people into drone like automatons. I just find it wastes too much of my precious
"schmo-jo" that I can be using for the greater good of Schmooze.

The point that KOS is trying to make is this: don't stab people in the back. On the road to victory, many people are there to assist you. Whether they are aware of it or not. Always take the time to acknowledge the little things people do (not the little people), and don't forget the part of their 'schmo-jo' that they've invested in you.

Obviously, the current case of 'political ambition' we are witnessing seems to have forgotten this simple truth. But hey, it's politics and..... "the game's afoot!"

KOS in Connecticut!!

Part of Branford College, on the campus of Yale University, New Haven, CT.


My Apologies to all my loyal subjects. The King of Schmooze was incredibly busy in the month of March and as a result, I didn't have a chance to post as often as I would have liked, or should have.

This past weekend I had the interesting experience of journeying to New Haven, CT. What, you may ask, was the King of Schmooze doing in New Haven? Well, aside from trying to avoid being shot, mugged, or various other non-flattering things, I decided to visit Yale University. Having visited Boston last summer and not visiting "Hah-vahd", I thought it was my royal duty to pay a visit to the historic rival to that great school.


Yale University was founded in 1701 as the Collegiate School in the home of Abraham Pierson, its first rector, in Killingworth, Connecticut. In 1716 the school moved to New Haven and, with the generous gift by Elihu Yale of nine bales of goods, 417 books, and a portrait and arms of King George I, was renamed Yale College in 1718.

On High Street, in the middle of the Yale University campus, stands a cold-looking, nearly windowless Greco-Egyptian building with padlocked iron doors. This is the home of Yale's most famous secret society, Skull and Bones, and it is also, in a sense, one of the many homes of the family of George W. Bush, Yale '68. Bush men have been Yale men and Bonesmen for generations. Prescott Bush, George W.'s grandfather, Yale '17, was a legendary Bonesman; he was a member of the band that stole for the society what became one of its most treasured artifacts: a skull that was said to be that of the Apache chief Geronimo. He went on to a life of power and renown, becoming a U.S. senator. George Herbert Walker Bush, George W.'s father, Yale '48, was also a Bonesman. George W., Yale '68, was a Bonesman, too.

It was rather interesting to walk around the campus and check out the architecture, many of it from the early 1700's. It was also interesting looking into the ties of the Bush family to the University as it afforded me the opportunity to research a bit about the Skull and Bones Society. An interesting aspect about this is that my friend, "Sc-ibson", played "Travis Wheeler" in the 2000 film "The Skulls" which featured Joshua Jackson, Paul Walker (The Fast and The Furious, 2 Fast, 2 Furious), William Petersen (now of CSI fame), and hottie Leslie Bibb.

Personally, I think it was some of Scibson's best work since his comedically powerful role of "Frat Guy" in the Bob Saget epic, "Dirty Work" in 1998. Anyway, I digress.

Yale was an interesting place to visit, although New Haven has some dubious qualities to it. I discovered that it has a reputation for "an above average crime rate". Oddly, I wasn't informed of this until after I went for a stroll to Yale through one of the 'dodgy' neighbourhoods. I thought it was kind of odd at the time that I was the only white person I saw.

Regardless, KOS did make it safely back from Yale and New Haven. Another interesting piece of history concerning New Haven is that it was the port where in 1839, the Schooner Amistad was towed into port. In 1997, Stephen Spielberg brought this incident too mass public attention by making a movie about it.

What historians used to refer to dismissively as the Amistad Incident, is the story of a group of Africans who were captured in Mende (present day Sierra Leone) and brought in chains to the Americas - and who revolted, captured their ship, La Amistad, and eventually were seized off the coast of New England. The captives won their freedom in a case before the United States Supreme Court and ultimately sailed back to their homeland in Africa. Former US President John Quincy Adams helped to argue their case before the Supreme Court.

So though you go, history mixed with a little bit of Hollywood, all in New Haven, CT.

Shameless Plug for Friend

Matt Humphreys: singer, songwriter, bonvivant, fashionista, and heartbreaker.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, KOS is proud to bring you the 'coming out' of ......... The Matt Humphrey's Band. Well, maybe just a gig with the new bass player. Matt is going back to playing 'ensemble' (with others) instead of only solo (but not altogether) and this Friday, Feb. 25 @ The Office Bar & Grill is the first 'official' showcase that Matt will be performing to tighten things up with the 'french guy'. The sound is great and this is the opening showcase. Matt has recruited an amazing bassist to help out on shows that need a little more of a kick in the a##. Drop by and say 'Bonjour!' to Dave Buland (fresh off the boat from France). The other benefit is that Friday's are 'wing-nights' at The Office so the amazing wings (Best in Toronto!) are cheaper than normal!

If you've never seen or heard Matt perform this is a great opportunity to do so. The gig is an early one, 6 pm - 9 pm, so it's great for afterwork on a Friday. Matt is also playing Fionn MacCool's @ St. Clair & Yonge tonight starting @ 9 pm.

The Office Bar & Grill, 3313 Bloor St. W. (just east of Islington Subway, on Bloor), 416.239.9484

Hockey Negotiations, Governor General: Hockey expert!?, and other observations

The King of Schmooze with a 'real' competitor, Toronto Raptor's Jalen Rose. A heart as big as his smile.


Loyal Subjects! I do apologize for my lack of blogging over the past 2 weeks. The KOS has had a rather eventful time since my last post on Feb. 2.

My royal archiving device crashed (much more eloquent than 'hard-drive' n'est pas?). Luckily we were able to save all the important Royal Archives but I was without a computer for about a week.

During that time there have been several things that came to my attention that I wanted to wax eloquently about, but due to time and space restraints I've decided that I will do this post in point form. So here goes:

1. Ashes to Ashes ......
It is with a sad heart that I found out this week that the mother of a close friend passed away last week. My prayers go out to Derek, the Major, and the rest of the family. Your mom was a unique woman and those who knew her were blessed.

2. Tom Cruise, John Travolta ......... S. Gibson??
Yes, it would appear that no sooner than my friend 'Scibson' lands in Hollywierd that he has joined the Church of Scientology (not that there's anything wrong with that!). This has not been confirmed in this week's edition of 'Variety' but how else could you explain someone who is a certified "Boddvivant" (as in Boddington's, the beer) not having a drink in Tinsletown yet? So really Scibson, are you down there to act or did you just check into Betty Ford?

3. Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux........ King of Schmooze??
Yes, the rumours are true. KOS did become involved with the hockey negotiations last week. I convened a special meeting with T. Linden, B. Goodenow, and B. Guerin at Hemingways to discuss the next move. It was actually me, the King of Schmooze, who suggested the idea of having Gretzky and Lemieux get involved. Unfortunately, even that last ditch effort didn't work. Sorry, no pictures to back this up, but KOS did get both Mr. Linden's and Mr. Goodenow's autographs. Nice on them!

4. Governor General Suggests giving Stanley Cup to Women's hockey .......
KOS has to be careful how to approach this one.

Let me be emphatic here, KOS is not a misogynist.

I have no problems with women's hockey, female governor general's, or my Mother .... (Hi Mom!).

I do roll my eyes when people though who think they need to comment on something, when they really don't need to. Sure the Stanley Cup was originally donated by Lord Stanley who was at the time the GG of Canada. But that changed in 1947 when the NHL was awarded the rights to use it as their 'trophy' exclusively.

The fact of the matter GG, Canadians might have somewhat of a passing notion that it's too bad the Stanley Cup won't be awarded this year. But for the most part, based on my in-depth, bar based polling, most people don't really care and have gotten on with their lives "sans 'ock-ay". To even think that there would be any interest in such a thing south of the border is even a dumber insight. NO ONE CARES ABOUT 'ock-ay' IN THE US except Joey and Chandler ...... and they are off the air now!

Let's just get on with our lives and get excited about the Blue Jays!

5. Spend $15,000 and get $150 worth of free coffee or a flight to New York ..... ??
So have you seen this new c/c from RBC and Starbucks called 'duetto'. It pays you 1% of your purchases in Starbucks dollars. So, you spend $100, you get $1. With a RBC Avion card you 1 "Air mile" for every $1 you spend ........ that means you'd have to spend $15,000 for a trip to Manhattan as you'd need 15,000 Aeroplan points to get a flight that would normally cost about $250-$300 cash. Take that same $15,000 and buy stuff and you'll get $150 worth of Starbucks bucks for coffee, a coffee maker, or a stainless steel 'travel mug'.

I think my loyal subjects are smart enough to see the big picture. Unless you're hopelessly hooked on the coffee or your no-fat, half-caff, vanilla machiatto this deal sorta makes no consumer sense. Besides, a coffee is 99% water anyway (reg. coffee, not the 'fancies'), which is probably why they are only giving you 1% on your purchases. "H'mmmm, 1% on purchases you say ....... I'll take it! Woo - Hooo! So long, suckers!" D'oh!

6. April 15, 2005 ............ the day 'Wince Cart-air' returns to T.O.
Mark this date in your calendars folks. The New Jersey Nets come to Toronto to take on our Raptors with their new 'superstar' Wince Cart-air. If you're going to the game have fun and don't forget to boo ......... loudly.

Sidebar #1:
In case you can't get tickets to the game (it is mostly sold-out):
1. Call or email me and i'll see if my friends at Time 4 You or Toronto Concierge can help out.
2. If you need a place to watch the game instead of at home on your 19" 'big screen" here are a couple of options:

Westend -
The Office Sports Bar & Grill, 3313 Bloor St. E. (just east of the Islington subway stop), 416.2369.9484: Probably the best wings in Toronto. Get the 'Florida' style ones. The chicken fingers are very tasty as well, and juicy! Cheaper beer than downtown and half the ambiance....meaning more like Cheers, less like Lobby. But Friday's are wing nights so I'll take the cheap wings to cover. You might want to bring your binoculars though as the TV's are spread around the room. Which brings me to another point ....... Terre, Nic, and Glen - now that we've got the outdoor 'patio heater' happening, maybe it's time for a couple of big, flat screen HD TV's. Just an observation. Maybe if we took down a couple of Glen's 'award bats' from the Blue Jays we could fit one over the shuffle board table.

Downtown -
Victory Sports Bar & Grill, 244 Adelaide St. W. (duncan & adelaide - across from the now deceased Vinnie's Social Hall), 416.642.0105: The great thing about this place besides the downtown location, the great staff, and good food are the big, flat screen HD TV's. If you go, ask for Andrew and tell him Graham from Time 4 You sent you. That way I'll be sure to get my "beer commission".

Hemingways, Cumberland across from the park in Yorkville, 416.968.2828: Great place to go on a Friday night, after work. Good place to network if you're into that kind of stuff. This is where KOS and the NHLPA hold our meetings. Good place for sports, but they too (or is it ,too,?) need a couple of big, flat screen HD TV's.
Beer is almost as cheap as The Office (the best Value in Yorkville!), but alas no 'wing-night'. They do make excellent wings though, and give out free samples on Sundays!
One of the few places left in Toronto where you can smoke AND watch the game.

Take the 'smoking room' to cover.

Back to 'wince-sanity':
This guy took us for $US 90 Million and said that he 'just wasn't having fun anymore' and that he was 'tired of playing for a losing team, and needed a change'. Was he breaking up with us or what? Basketball players, what a bunch of spoiled whiners. I can hear Karl Malone rolling his eyes over this 'whiner'. What happened to players who stuck with a team through thick and thin? Now, I can understand wanting out if say the team was the LA Clippers where one has to wonder "What is with this franchise? Aren't they the ones who used to play the Harlem Globetrotters? I can understand wanting the opportunity to win a championship near the end of your career like Malone, Gary Payton or in hockey Ray Borque, but Wince is no where near the end of his career.

I'm glad that the Raptors spanked the Nets last night. I'm glad that Wince played a pathetic game. I'm glad that a player with heart, Jalen Rose, was the leading scorer for both teams while at the same time shutting down Wince and holding him to 22 points (4 points below his season average of 26 ppg). I hope that the Raptors don't trade Jalen Rose. He is the type of player that this franchise needs and has needed since Charles Oakley was traded. We need players that are mentally tough, could care less about all the 'hugging, and kissin' and glad-handing' that goes on before tip-off at an NBA game. We also need players that are team players and a leaders for the younger players on the Raptors. Did Jalen demand a trade after Coach Mitchell took him out of the starting 5? No, he proceeded to become the first player off the bench and the most dominant player in most games despite the fact he was playing fewer minutes. That's what leaders do.

Speaking of leaders, and future leaders:

Chris Bosh became the 3rd youngest player in NBA history to record 1000 rebounds. The others were: Kevin Garnett and Tracie McGrady. It took Garnett 143 games to get to 1,000, it took McGrady 186 and Bosh just 130.

This kid is going to be a superstar, and he is going to be much bigger than Wince. Why you ask? For the simple reason that he is a player, not a showboat, and has a heart. Couple that with humility, a willingness to learn, incredible athletic ability and you've got 'superstar' material.

Sidebar - is it any coincidence that they are selling 'selected' Vince Carter items for 60% off the original value at the ACC? Maybe they are basing the new pricing on his previous efforts.

Anyway, Rob B., in case you are listening ....... don't trade Jalen!

Well, that's all for now. It's time for the royal midday nap.

Is it too early for green beer?:
The King of Schmooze with the infamous 'Pyeman' during St. Patrick's day 2004 @ the Office Bar & Grill.

So in case you're wondering what this has to do with the month of February, please allow me the privilege of tying everything together for you.

It looks as thought the New England St. Pat-riots are about to win their 3rd Super Bowl in 4 years. This is not a bad little streak to have going. I can remember watching the first Super Bowl they won back in 2001 because I was in Sydney, NSW, Australia, Earth at the time. In reality I was watching the game the day after it was played. Go figure that one out!

The green is in honour of the noble warriors from the Philadelphia Eagles who are going to give it their all but ultimately fail in the face of a superior coaching staff led by Bill Belichek.

The photo of KOS with 'Pyeman' is in honour of the fact that my good friend and mentor is actually going down to Jacksonville to attend Super Bowl XXXIX. So if anyone wants any ticket stubs or programs from the game, or Tom Brady's jockstrap let me know so that we can place your order with Glen, er Pyeman. He actually 'dabble's in sports memorabilia so I'm sure if we asked nicely he might be able to accommodate requests. When I say dabble, think DABBLE. He also maintains a small interest in a Etobicoke institution, The Office Bar & Grill @ Bloor & Eagle Rd. (just east of Islington), 416.239.9484, where they serve some of the best (if not THE BEST) chicken wings in Toronto. If you're stuck for a place to watch the game this Sunday, and you are out in the westend, The Office is a great place. Think 'Cheers' and 'Rustic'.

For the rest of you, including myself, who are going to be in the vicinity of downtown (I'll be at the Raptors game till about 4 pm) we're going to be taking in the Super Bowl at 'Victory' which is at the corner of Duncan and Adelaide. Unlike some establishments in that area that have closed: Vinnie's Social Hall, Duncan St. Grill - Victory is still open.

I had the pleasure of watching the St. Pat-riots demolish the Steelers at this bar and it was quite enjoyable. The best part were the pair of 52" HDTV screens they have behind the bar. The picture was amazing!

Anyway, that's my bit about Super Bowl XXXIX. I'm not going to go on the record and predict a 72-3 victory for the St. Pat-riots like my good friend Tyler, but I'm going to say that the Patriots are going to win. Big.

The Three Chartreusers:
The King of Schmooze with Scott Gibson and the guy who looks like Carter from 'Spin City' (sorry Sean!, or is it Shawn?).
Actually, this was the night at the 'H' that Russell Crowe was having a party in the corner of the outside patio. His bodyguard 'Spud' wouldn't let me get a picture with Russell so I settled for some good old Canadian 'talent'.

Virus', Chunky Chili & Paris-ites

First the Virus'

Well, yes the rumours are true, the King of Schmooze is sick. I came down with a cold last Thursday and have been under the weather since then. Even though it's mostly just a annoying cough by this point, it is a pain in the a** as I've been feeling tired and very 'yucky'. Hopefully this thing will run its course in the next day or so as I'm beginning to feel like Wiarton Willie ... just waiting to pop my head out of the ground to see what the weather is going to be like.

The good news is that I haven't started acting like Howard Hughes and opening doors with layers of tissues, or wearing tissue boxes as slippers. I'm not sure about the rest of you but I still have not been able to get out to see 'The Aviator'. I'm looking forward to seeing it as I read a biography about Hughes before Christmas that was very enjoyable. I learnt alot about the man that I was previously unaware of. For example, he didn't really 'go insane' as people might suspect on first observation. He actually suffered from excessive compulsive disorder at a time when people didn't understand it, and weren't able to diagnose it.

I was reminded of this whole thing about sickness, germs, and Hughes today while I watched The Simpsons. It was the episode where Marge becomes a 'slot jockey' at Mr. Burn's casino and gets hooked on the game neglecting her family. The side story is about Mr. Burn's going 'crazy' a la Howard Hughes. It was quite funny, especially the part where Mr. Burns gets out of bed wearing tissue boxes as slippers. If you don't know about Howard Hughes you wouldn't have understood the humour. It's no wonder that some people don't understand or 'get' The Simpsons. It's a very high level of humour with lots of 'hidden' jokes and references to other events. Another hilarious part of this episode was that because Marge was busy in the casino she forgot to help Lisa prepare her costume for the geography pageant at school. So Homer to the rescue! He builds Lisa a costume that is supposed to be shaped like Florida. It turns out to be a total disaster, but the funny part is if you look closely you'll see that Homer spelt Florida, 'Floreda' on the costume. D'oh!!

Now to food!

I had the pleasure of attending a 'send-off' party for a friend this past Saturday night at Prego Della Piazza. My friend, Scott Gibson, is heading south to Hollywood to cast his lot with the new TV pilot season. It's kind of like reverse migration: birds go south in winter, Canadian actors go south in Spring. I'm sure Scott, or Brian as he prefers, will come up with something. In fact he mentioned that he had something on the go as soon as he got into town. Until then we'll just have to get along without him and learn to do shots of Chartreuse on our own. You may have seen Scott, er Brian, recently in a series of Campbell's Chunky Chili commercials that have been airing on TV. He plays 'Brian' the brainy financial whiz who explains 'hedging' to the announcer. Believe me Scott is a great actor, because as far as I know his math skills end at tabulating his bar bill at the end of the night.

One exciting project that he'll be working on is a production called 'Lucky Number Slevin' which is being directed by Paul McGuigan who directed 'Wicker Park' starring Josh Hartnett. Josh is back in this movie along with Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley and Lucy Lui. You can check out more info at the following link: http://www.ascendantpictures.com/coming.html
It's being filmed in Montreal at the moment and then New York. Hopefully it will be ready to go in time for the Toronto Film Festival this year.

Good Luck Scott! To your success! It's either that or back to Hemingways and Metropia!

Onto the Paris-ites.

I'm not sure about you, but the King of Schmooze is growing entirely bored and annoyed with these Paris-ites who parade around emmulating Paris Hilton. Now, I'm very impressed with Miss Hilton in some ways: the fact that she's been able to transform her 'career' as a millionaire hieress party socialite into a 'career' as an actress, author, and fashion designer. Great moves! I'm even more impressed by the fact that she's been able to influence so many young women into emmulating her look and personality.

The thing that has really started to annoy me though, is not neccessarily Miss Hilton herself, but women who have taken to carrying their pet 'dogs' around in custom 'carrying' bags. Now the dogs themselves aren't really much to talk about, don't get me wrong I like dogs, cats, koala, groundhogs, etc. That's not the point. The point is that these miniature breeds of dogs have been transformed from being an animal - a pet - into being a fashion accessory.

What set me off on this tangent was being in an upscale restaurant last week (it shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) and having a women, with her dog, in her bag, at the bar. Now it goes without saying that having a live animal in a restaurant is against the rules. In fact, unless the dog/animal is a 'working animal' i.e. a seeing eye dog, it is against provincial food/retaurant regulations to have live animals in a business establishment where food is served. This was the 2nd time I've witnessed this idiocy. The other time was about a month ago in another establishment that I won't name. This time the woman had TWO (2) dogs in her bag.

Now ladies, you'll have to excuse me because honestly I'm sure there are some 'men' who carry their pet dogs around in bags over their shoulder. So please, this is not a rant against you. This is bringing blatant stupidity in the name of 'fashion' into the public forum. Dogs are not fashion accessories. They are dogs. Leave them at home with the chew toy as I'm not interested in meeting them when you're out having a drink. If I wanted to meet a 'dog' when I was out for a drink, then just ask I'll buy you one ...... a drink that is .............

Anyway, here's to the 'Ban Tinkerbell' Society of Toronto. By the way, I really like dogs! Actually I prefer cats as they are less needy and can go to the bathroom on their own.

iro-ny

Iro-ny, n, from the latin 'ironia'; from the greek 'eironia'; from 'eiron' meaning dissembler

- 'incongruity between the actual results of a sequence of events and the expected result'


So here's the deal: despondent man decides that he can't go on because:

a) he can't bear seeing his ex-wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/sheep with another lover/partner;
b) he lost his job due to his 3rd failed drug test and can't bear to face his family;
c) he just COULD NOT accept that Brad & Jennifer 'didn't make it';
d) he realizes that it was a bad decision to borrow money from 'vito' and wager the whole wad on Pittsburgh to crush New England

In keeping with his melancholy decides that the only way to 'go on' is to drive his SUV to a rail crossing and park it there to await his fate at the front of a diesel locomotive (or maybe electric - does it really matter?)

Anway, somewhere along this path of critical thinking the guy chickens out and decides that he can't kill himself. Meanwhile his SUV is now stuck on the tracks because he didn't actually drive to the crossing and leave the vehicle there, he went further down where there was no street.

The commuter train approaches, hits his SUV (as he watches) bolts into the air, hits a stationary frieght car sitting on some siding and then clips another commuter train heading in the opposite direction, killing (at last count) 11 innocent, unassuming people on their way to 'another day at the office'.

Now our brave, honourable soul is being arraigned on 10 counts of murder 'with special circumstances' which means the death penalty is an option if found guilty. Due process has to run its course but, why not just save the taxpayer's some money and facilitate the grieving process. Why not just gas his a** now? He apparently already tried to slice his wrists and stab himself in the hospital. Why not just help him along?

For those of you subjects who can't see the stupidity, waste and pointless nature of this carnage and say 'well, shouldn't we try to help and understand his pain?', I think the District Attorney prosecuting the case summed up that stinkin' thinkin' this way,

"He's not going to engage my sympathy because he was despondent. His despondency doesn't move me," Cooley told The Associated Press.

Well, to my point:
- a coward who decides to take his own life; bails on the idea; kills 11 people, injures hundreds more, steals the lives of husbands, wives, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc., destroys millions of dollars in public (or private?) property, now faces the death penalty.

To me, that's i-ro-ny.

Say it ain't so Jen and Brad!!

What's next! Britney and Ex-Dancer getting a divorce!!??

The King of Schmooze often wonders why people in Hollywood ever get married, anyway. It seems that the odds of a high-profile marriage being successful are very slim so why bother? Just have some kind of 'formal living arrangement' that can be dissovled easily once you realize that things aren't going to work out. Doesn't this just make more sense?!

Jen and Brad seemed to have it all going for them: looks, popular roles in popular films/tv shows, money, glamour. Where did it all go wrong? Who knows, and really, who cares. Luckily they didn't have any children so we will not have to endure the 'celebrity name game'. My bet was on a girl, and her name would be 'Peach', as in 'Peach Pitt'. As for a boy ............ how about "Army" as in Army Archer, the famous Hollywood columnist. Given the playgrounds of today, this would inevitably become 'Arm Pitt'. Not bad. At least we won't have to endure this ....... for now anyway.
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Sidebar:
Ever realize that 'continuity' in a movie shoot is a really big thing? Continuity is the process of ensuring that scenes shot in a movie over the course of days, weeks, and even months, all maintain their original qualities. Sometimes scenes from films are not shot concurrently but hours and even days apart. When a scene in a movie is between 2 people, and you have the camera panning from person to person, it may actually be that they are only shooting 1 person at a time and then editing the shots together. Both actors don't have to be present at the same time for this to be possible. They may even film the end or the middle of a film before they film the beginning.

Anyway, a prime example of poor continuity in a film is in the remake of Ocean's 11. The scene where Brad Pitt and Matt Damon are talking about Andy Garcia's character while they are standing by the staircase at the Bellagio. Initially we see Brad standing by Matt listening to Matt describe Terry Benedict's day (Andy Garcia's character) and he is holding a shrimp cocktail glass in his hand while he is eating the shrimp. We then switch to another angle of the shot and we see Matt talking to Brad, but in this shot Brad is holding a plate of shrimp instead of the shrimp cocktail glass. Finally, when Matt talks about Julia Roberts being 'the best part of his day' we see Brad back to holding the shrimp cocktail glass instead of the plate. This is not earth shattering, but it is fun. Part of the reason why the King of Schmooze loves movies so much is because of all the little processes that we as viewers don't realize take place.

--------------------

Probably the worst part of the split of Brad and Jen is the fact that they 'supposably' spent $US 1 Million on their wedding. Zikes! That's approximately $250,000 for each year of marriage.

With Brad and Jen split, we'll have to find the new 'fabulous' married couple in Hollywood. It wil be interesting to see if Nick and Jessica can make things work for them. It probably won't work out, just look at Sonny and Cher. As for Britney and Kevin, The King of Schmooze is giving them 1 yr, 5 mos, and 11 days.

KOS "doggin' it" with VC 

"I'm Doggin' It" - Vince Carter's New Promotional Campaign

Budda, Bupp, Bupp, Baaa, I'm Doggin' It ..................

Press Release
Source: Major North American Newspapers and Sports Shows
Vince Carter Announces new endorsement deal with La-Z-Boy, Inc.
Saturday, January 08, 1:54 pm ET
TORONTO, ONTARIO


With the "revelation" yesterday about Air Canada Carter's work effort while here in Toronto, it comes as no suprise to the King of Schmooze that this was the case

King of Schmooze, KOS to my friends and loyal subjects, is no stranger to competitive sports. I played basketball, volleyball, and baseball all through Jr. & Sr. Highschool, and played Varsity Basketball at Ryerson while at university. Having had the privilege to attend almost every Raptors' game in the past year and a half, it came as no suprise that VC was in fact "doggin' it" more often than not. Any experienced eye can just tell.

I read with great amusement about how VC, who by the way earns about $US 12 Million/yr, actually admitted to not giving it his all as a player over the last couple of years in Toronto. Well, as they say, the proof is in the pudding. The Raptors have had a couple of tough seasons, to put it mildly, and to have your top star admit to taking it easy on the court is shameful. I'm glad that the Raptors traded him and I'm sure that in retrospect, the trade will turn out to be positive for Toronto. One of the players we got in return, Eric Williams, is no Vince Carter in terms of talent/flash, but at least he is a team player who plays hard and thinks team first.

I can remember in my senior year of high-school getting so ticked off at my team-mates that I quit the team. I was tired of being on a team that no one took very seriously. You don't win games, let alone championships by "mailing in" your efforts. It takes hard work, focus, and desire in order to win. I didn't actually quit the team for more than a day, but I did want to make a statement. We didn't win any championships that year, but we did have a lot of fun because we played like a team.

I trust that the Raptors are moving in the right direction in terms of building a 'team' as opposed to a bunch of individuals. Teams win, not individuals. Look at the Boston Red Sox this past baseball season, the New England Patriots, the Toronto Argonauts.

Now, if we could only teach Rafael Araujo to dunk fiercely instead of these sissy layups he does under the basket. A guy that big and strong should be throwing things down.

As for me, I'm on my way out to buy me a La-Z-Boy recliner.

What the King of Schmooze saw while he drank his Sanka on the balcony of his abode in Santa Monica. 

The King of Schmooze hard at work on the set of "God's Army 2: States of Grace". Yes Virginia, there really is a Santa Claus, even in the barrio of East L.A. 

The King of Schmooze kibitzing with actor Kieffer Sutherland in Las Vegas, Jan. 2004

2004 - A Year in the Life of Schmooze

It is with great pleasure that I wish all of my ambassadors, courtiers, and loyal subjects a very Happy New Year.

2004 was an intresting year in the Kingdom of Schmooze, and 2005 is focused on more of the same. Although maybe this year we'll Schmooze without the haze of Chartreuse on our minds. Here are some of the highlights from the year passed:

Jan. 2004 - The King of Schmooze and his Ambassador of 'Stile', Matt Humphreys, made a pilgrimage to Las Vegas to meet some of the King's growing court. Some of the highlights were meeting actor Keifer Sutherland, billionaire Mark Cuban (owner of the Dallas Mavericks), and actor Tony Danza. Unfortunately, there is no pictoral proof that I did in fact meet Mr. Danza, but it did take place in the slots at the Venetian.

January was also the month when the King of Schmooze flexed his creative muscles on the set of the forthcoming movie 'God's Army 2: States of Grace'in the tough streets of Santa Monica, CA. Richard Dutcher, the director, producer, and writer of the film proved to be a great inspiration during my stay. Dutcher is a leading force in the production of films specifically using the Church of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) as the basis for plots, etc. It was a unique and intersting set to visit and I must thank my good friend Dan Urness for allowing me the privilege to be part of the filming. Dan was the Line Producer on this flick so being the miserly skinflint that he is, he put me to work as a Production Assistant. It's not often that one goes on vacation in sunny southern California only to spend one's days lugging 50lb bags of sand across, well the sandy beaches of Venice Beach. Dan wasn't all that tough though, as I was able to stay at their luxurious accommodations which were located right on the beach at the foot of the famous Santa Monica Pier. This was a treat! Originally built in 1908/09, the pier has been a fixture of the shoreline in Santa Monica for almost 100 yrs. It is the westcoast finish line of the famed 'Route 66'.

By the way, you can rent one of Dutcher's earlier flicks, "Brigham City" at Rogers. I've seen the movie and it is rather good - a good suspense, crime drama.

Having never visited this part of Los Angeles before, I made a special point of soaking in as much 'SoCal' lifestyle that I could. Always on the lookout for the neighbourhood 'divebar', I was lucky enough to stumble onto Washington Blvd. in Venice Beach one afternoon while the crew was filming at the famed 'Muscle Beach' of Venice Beach.

The one bar that caught my attention on Washington was the Hinano Cafe. Being the experienced world traveller that I am, I was able to immediately draw the connection between this bar and 'Hinano Beer' which is the national beer of Tahiti. For those who like dives (like The King of Schmooze), Hinano Cafe fits the bill. It's dark, has patrons all dressed in old t-shirts and has a pool table. The most redeeming quality of the bar, besides the $2 ice-cold glasses of Bud Light on tap, are the Cheeseburgers. By the way, 'Hinano' is the name of the Pandanus flower. It's also the most famous tahitian first name in French Polynesia. But enough about Tahiti, that's a whole other blog.

If you've never visited this part of SoCal, I would recommend it. From where I was staying at the Santa Monica Pier, I was able to bicycle on the 'boardwalk' all the way to Venice Beach and the Hinano Cafe. There is great shopping in the downtown of SM, as they have turned Third Street into a Promenade, an open-air pedestrian mall alive with cafés, bookstores, kiosks, cinemas, fashion boutiques and novelty shops. At the end of 3rd St. is Santa Monica Place, an ocean-view shopping mall, designed by world-renowned architect Frank O. Gehry.

In terms of accommodations, there are plenty of hotels in the area but perhaps the most famous is the Fairmont Miramar Hotel. Originally the site of a private mansion owned by John P. Jones, a former U.S. Senator and the founder of Santa Monica, The Miramar Hotel has served as an exclusive playground for Hollywood celebrities, and a quiet retreat for guests, since 1921.

According to the Fairmont website, Sultry blonde Jean Harlow (discovered by Howard Hughes and made famous in "Hell's Angels") rented one of the Miramar's bungalows in the early 1930s, and years later another famous blonde, Marilyn Monroe, frequently retreated to the Miramar when she wanted to disappear from the media. Throughout the years, the bungalows have attracted their share of public figures, including Eleanor Roosevelt and aviator Charles Lindbergh. So needless to say, the King of Schmooze had to at least use the washroom in this famous hotel to experience its history and grandeur. Not settling for the washroom only, I did have a coffee in the oasis like patio area.

For those who might consider a trip down to Santa Monica, it is a short distance from LAX on Lincoln Blvd. through Marina Del Rey and Venice Beach. The next community up the road is Malibu, so SM is certainly not East LA.

February 2004 - February proved to be a rather forgettable month as I totally forget what I did. But, I'm pretty sure at some point I did visit my downtown palace at 142 Cumberland St. (otherwise known as Hemingways).

March 2004 - March was another month that has proven beyond my Total Recall, although I'm pretty sure that there were a few times that I took in Matt Humphreys' "humpday" show at Fionn MacCool's @ St. Clair & Yonge.

April 2004 - Another baseball season is upon us. 2004 marks the 5th season of the King of Schmooze as an usher with the Toronto Blue Jays ballclub. For something that started out as more of a whim, and an excuse to keep my mind occupied (post-fiancee fiasco), the Blue Jays gig has turned into an annual event (I recieved my invitation to return for a 6th season this past Christmas...yey!!).

What can the King say about the Blue Jays. The team looked so promising going into the 2004 season but they got off to a slow start. Things just got worse with Roy Halladay, Vernon Wells, Greg Myers and Carlos Delgado going down with injuries. For me there were some highlites though, mostly to do with the fans and season ticket holders.

Two of my favourite season ticket holders, Jeff Goodfield and his daughter Jayde always made it to at least one game/homestand. Jeff and his family have been season ticket holders since Day One with the Jays, and it is always fun when his family comes out to a ballgame. I've been able to watch Jayde grow-up at the Skydome and begin to become a great baseball fan. It's especially fun when Jeff's wife Natalie, 1-yr. old daughter Amber, and his mother come to the game on the same day. It always make the games go faster and more enjoyable to have good people and knowledgeable fans in the stands.

Over the years I've been able to meet some great people at Jays games: Kevin Hansen and his mother are season ticket holders in sec. 127, Matthew Sacco and his family are in the front row with Jeff, Joe and his wife are in row 8 seats 1 & 2, "Harvey W." and his buddy Marty don't have tickets in my section but they always come by to say hello. It's interesting to get overlap with season ticket holders as I've seen Kevin at Raptors games as well.

The big 'disappointment' this season was the thought to move people around instead of leaving experienced people in the same section. Having been fortunate enough to work most of the last few years in sec. 127 (3rd base on 100 level), it has become apparent to me that season ticket holders appreciate a friendly and familiar face when they arrive at the ballpark. Probably the best 'perk' of this is not having to be hassled to see their tickets. But this is a topic for another day.

May 2004 - The King of Schmooze really took off in the month of May. I officially registered both kingofschmooze.com and kingofschmooze.ca at the end of April so I was legitimately able to call myself the King of Schmooze. The phrase originated from Matt Humphreys' redesign of the www.urbanfolk.ca website where my exploits were outlined as his new 'business manager'. Not being one to miss an opportunity to own a bit of webestate, I quickly registered both domains.

May was the month when I discovered that the Boston Red Sox stay at the Park Hyatt hotel when they are in Toronto. I was able to get Jason Varitek's autograph for Ambassador Currie as I bumped into Mr. Varitek at the summer palace with some of his teammates.

My first legitimate use of my nobility following investiture was hosting the Anaheim Angels ballclub at my summer residence, 142 Cumberland. My Ambassador of Dimples, 'Nipples Wahl', and I had the good fortune to bump into former Jay Bud Black (now pitching coach with the Angels) and Joe Maddon (bench coach) in the downstairs bar. Both Bud and Joe proved to be great conversationalists about the game of baseball so it was a real treat to kibitz with them.

During the Angels series, May 24-27, Nipples and I had the pleasure of meeting some of the pitching staff as well. Scott Shields, Kevin Gregg and John Lackey all proved to be very personable. Darin (nipples) Wahl had actually played college ball against John so they were able to chat about that.

May was capped off by me attending the Jays/Angels game on May 27th and having Bud sign a baseball for me. It was the 1st official 'schmoozeball' as he signed it 'you can schmooze all the best'.

June 2004 - What can be said about June. The highlight here was definitely bumping into LA Dodger 2nd baseman Alex Cora @ the summer palace. Despite his attempts to pass himself off as a soccer enthusiast from Puerto Rico, Darin and I soon figured out who he was. He turned out to be a great guy and we talked some serious baseball with him. He was nice enough to remember to sign baseballs for both Darin and I, AND, was even nicer to remember that I'd asked for an Eric Gagne signed ball.

July 2004 - Go Sox! After months of talking about going, we (Tyler, Darin, Brad and myself) finally were able to head down to Boston for beer and baseball. It was the first time I'd ever visited Beantown, but luckily we had Mr. Currie along because Boston is 'his town'. I guess I would have come to this conclusion myself based on the amount of times he pissed all over the place ....... marking his territory no doubt.