Virus', Chunky Chili & Paris-ites

First the Virus'

Well, yes the rumours are true, the King of Schmooze is sick. I came down with a cold last Thursday and have been under the weather since then. Even though it's mostly just a annoying cough by this point, it is a pain in the a** as I've been feeling tired and very 'yucky'. Hopefully this thing will run its course in the next day or so as I'm beginning to feel like Wiarton Willie ... just waiting to pop my head out of the ground to see what the weather is going to be like.

The good news is that I haven't started acting like Howard Hughes and opening doors with layers of tissues, or wearing tissue boxes as slippers. I'm not sure about the rest of you but I still have not been able to get out to see 'The Aviator'. I'm looking forward to seeing it as I read a biography about Hughes before Christmas that was very enjoyable. I learnt alot about the man that I was previously unaware of. For example, he didn't really 'go insane' as people might suspect on first observation. He actually suffered from excessive compulsive disorder at a time when people didn't understand it, and weren't able to diagnose it.

I was reminded of this whole thing about sickness, germs, and Hughes today while I watched The Simpsons. It was the episode where Marge becomes a 'slot jockey' at Mr. Burn's casino and gets hooked on the game neglecting her family. The side story is about Mr. Burn's going 'crazy' a la Howard Hughes. It was quite funny, especially the part where Mr. Burns gets out of bed wearing tissue boxes as slippers. If you don't know about Howard Hughes you wouldn't have understood the humour. It's no wonder that some people don't understand or 'get' The Simpsons. It's a very high level of humour with lots of 'hidden' jokes and references to other events. Another hilarious part of this episode was that because Marge was busy in the casino she forgot to help Lisa prepare her costume for the geography pageant at school. So Homer to the rescue! He builds Lisa a costume that is supposed to be shaped like Florida. It turns out to be a total disaster, but the funny part is if you look closely you'll see that Homer spelt Florida, 'Floreda' on the costume. D'oh!!

Now to food!

I had the pleasure of attending a 'send-off' party for a friend this past Saturday night at Prego Della Piazza. My friend, Scott Gibson, is heading south to Hollywood to cast his lot with the new TV pilot season. It's kind of like reverse migration: birds go south in winter, Canadian actors go south in Spring. I'm sure Scott, or Brian as he prefers, will come up with something. In fact he mentioned that he had something on the go as soon as he got into town. Until then we'll just have to get along without him and learn to do shots of Chartreuse on our own. You may have seen Scott, er Brian, recently in a series of Campbell's Chunky Chili commercials that have been airing on TV. He plays 'Brian' the brainy financial whiz who explains 'hedging' to the announcer. Believe me Scott is a great actor, because as far as I know his math skills end at tabulating his bar bill at the end of the night.

One exciting project that he'll be working on is a production called 'Lucky Number Slevin' which is being directed by Paul McGuigan who directed 'Wicker Park' starring Josh Hartnett. Josh is back in this movie along with Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley and Lucy Lui. You can check out more info at the following link: http://www.ascendantpictures.com/coming.html
It's being filmed in Montreal at the moment and then New York. Hopefully it will be ready to go in time for the Toronto Film Festival this year.

Good Luck Scott! To your success! It's either that or back to Hemingways and Metropia!

Onto the Paris-ites.

I'm not sure about you, but the King of Schmooze is growing entirely bored and annoyed with these Paris-ites who parade around emmulating Paris Hilton. Now, I'm very impressed with Miss Hilton in some ways: the fact that she's been able to transform her 'career' as a millionaire hieress party socialite into a 'career' as an actress, author, and fashion designer. Great moves! I'm even more impressed by the fact that she's been able to influence so many young women into emmulating her look and personality.

The thing that has really started to annoy me though, is not neccessarily Miss Hilton herself, but women who have taken to carrying their pet 'dogs' around in custom 'carrying' bags. Now the dogs themselves aren't really much to talk about, don't get me wrong I like dogs, cats, koala, groundhogs, etc. That's not the point. The point is that these miniature breeds of dogs have been transformed from being an animal - a pet - into being a fashion accessory.

What set me off on this tangent was being in an upscale restaurant last week (it shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) and having a women, with her dog, in her bag, at the bar. Now it goes without saying that having a live animal in a restaurant is against the rules. In fact, unless the dog/animal is a 'working animal' i.e. a seeing eye dog, it is against provincial food/retaurant regulations to have live animals in a business establishment where food is served. This was the 2nd time I've witnessed this idiocy. The other time was about a month ago in another establishment that I won't name. This time the woman had TWO (2) dogs in her bag.

Now ladies, you'll have to excuse me because honestly I'm sure there are some 'men' who carry their pet dogs around in bags over their shoulder. So please, this is not a rant against you. This is bringing blatant stupidity in the name of 'fashion' into the public forum. Dogs are not fashion accessories. They are dogs. Leave them at home with the chew toy as I'm not interested in meeting them when you're out having a drink. If I wanted to meet a 'dog' when I was out for a drink, then just ask I'll buy you one ...... a drink that is .............

Anyway, here's to the 'Ban Tinkerbell' Society of Toronto. By the way, I really like dogs! Actually I prefer cats as they are less needy and can go to the bathroom on their own.